It took me three decades of my life to fully understand my gender identity, and there’s still a lot that I don’t understand.
But that’s fine. That’s life.
To help other people understand something they may not even know about, and especially if they’re still finding themselves (just like when I didn’t know about it), I hope this page does a little more than explain something about me.
What Is a Demigirl?
With the obvious person to person variation, a demigirl is a person who identifies 70-80% as a woman and the remaining 20% as something else.
This something else may be a man or a non-binary gender.
When that 20% fluctuates between man and non-binary, you may safely call that genderfluid.
(I define myself as demigirl genderfluid, but in the day to day life, if someone asks, I only say demi or demifluid unless they need more context.)
What Is It Like to Be a Demigirl?
Heh, good question!
Most of the time I’m a woman, and if I had to choose any of my genders, I’d say woman, because that’s what I feel like most of the day.
I use feminine pronouns.
I like neutral pronouns like they/them, too, but I’d rather stick to feminine to avoid confusion (even in MY brain, not only the other person’s.)
After taking some time to think about the matter, I decided to create my own pronoun system – that only applies to me, however, so please ask other people if they use it as well or if they go with other pronouns, because it’s very personal.
I understand your struggle and stress with calling people with varying pronouns; it’s okay; just try with all your heart.
Nobody will eat your head for making honest mistakes, especially at the end of the day when you’re tired. 😉
So, what’s Lia’s system?
I decided to attach my pronouns to my body (female) instead of my gender identity, using the body as a the root of the word and the gender as a suffix.
If I’m perceiving myself as a woman, I’ll be a she-woman.
If I’m perceiving myself as a man, I’ll be she-man (to NOT confuse with He-Man and She-Ra 😛 Those are cool cartoon characters!)
Finally, if I’m perceiving myself as a gender-neutral/non-binary human, I’ll be a she-neutral or a she-not (the ‘not’ is to say non-binary).
Creative, I guess? But it simplifies things for me, since I honestly get confused with alternating pronouns.
Often I tend to misgender people in my mind because I tend to attach the pronouns to the body instead of the mind/soul, so I fixed it for myself, presto!
(For other people, I still do my best to use their preferred pronouns, but having mental issues on top of everything, please forgive me – and let me know if it happens and I don’t realize – if sometimes it slips and I attach the pronoun to the body. It’s not deliberate.)
Thanks for reading this (important) page on my site!